When the body says NO

Can we find healing when we burnout?

One of the key things I discovered this year was the deep connection between my mind and body. I learnt this the hard way when I came close to burnout.

On the surface, this seems pretty straightforward but it is entirely different in daily practice because we live most of our lives in our mind and not our body.

Burnout – exhaustion of physical or emotional strength or motivation usually as a result of prolonged stress or frustration

Merriam-Webster

Burnout can be brought on by many different factors. For me, it was a combination of overwork, stress and anxiety about the future.

The writing was on the wall for a long time but I refused to see or acknowledge it.

Afraid of change

I repressed and bottled up my emotions, thinking they would go away. And for a while, it worked.

The straw that broke my back

Eventually, the prolonged stress started affecting my mind-body and both my work and home life.

I found it difficult to concentrate and focus my attention on my work. I couldn’t even sit down and write a sentence. My brain felt like it was jammed.

I started to get really scared because I didn’t understand what was happening to me and if this was going to get worse.

This jolted me from my complacency. I decided I would not let anything compromise my mental health and the future wellbeing of myself and my family.

Finding healing and wholeness

Sometimes things need to get worse before they can get better.

We lose an integral part of our true self when we ignore the heart-mind-body connection and begin to run on autopilot.

Prolonged stress and anxiety damages both the mind and body and distort our perception.

I tried a number of things to get back on track and find healing. I am grateful to those who intervened and asked me if I was OK.

I was not OK and needed help.

In the middle of the road of my life, I awoke in a dark wood, where the true way was wholly lost.

Dante

This is a quick summary of how I found my way back:

• Stop and listen to what your body is telling you. Your heart-mind-body is your operating system and it knows what is best for you.
• Life is sacred – for me, this was a belief that there is more to my life and that I have a larger purpose besides the “roles” that I play at work and home.
• Love your self – we owe it to ourselves to care, nurture and love ourselves in spite of what we may feel.
• Reach out for help – I went to see our family doctor, to make sure that I was physically fine. He examined me, ordered a few tests and gave me a week off work.
• Talk to someone – I also knew that I needed someone to talk this through who could give me an honest perspective. I reached out to my friends and also got in touch with a mental health coaching service that I was familiar with.
  
• Stop, rest and relax – I took time off work. This was really hard to do as I was more committed to getting my job done than caring for my wellbeing. This act helped me stop and create a space for me to clarify what was going on inside of me.
• Feed your mind – I kept reading and sifting through different materials to feed my mind-body-soul. I found poetry extremely soothing to listen to and fell in love with the works of both John O’Donahue and David Whyte. Both these poet-philosophers offer great insight. Their words gave clear expression to what I was feeling inside.
• Exercise – I spent time going for walks and cycling. The healing properties of simply being in nature cannot be underestimated.
• Prayer and meditation – creating a quiet space daily to simply sit still, be silent and enjoy the present moment in my garden.

This was an extremely hard time for my family and myself. I struggled to work through the obstacles and emotions that were holding me hostage. Some days they seemed like they would overwhelm and swallow me whole.

Recovery is a journey

My mind-body did eventually heal itself and I feel a lot better now than I did six months ago when I was passing through the dark night. 

I am grateful to all those who stood by us during this time. You showed us that you are never truly alone. Thank you!